Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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