she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
