dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
