ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
where does the pee come out of this thing
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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