I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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