Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
