I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
