So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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