Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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