Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
