Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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