I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
