Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
