Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
