Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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