No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
