I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i think my cat just said my name.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
