scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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