Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My penis needs a shock collar
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
