I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
