My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
