Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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