I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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