Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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