I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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