Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
