Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
