Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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