I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
