well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
