Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
