he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
