My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
