No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
