so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
