Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
