In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
high people should be assigned attendants
where does the pee come out of this thing
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
