Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
