A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
