Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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