i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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