I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
