What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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