i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
