ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
