its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
