at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
