You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
