i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
