I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
